Lately Nick has been struggling with his workload and the enormous responsibility on his shoulders, as he navigates his way through business and fatherhood.
Sometimes, within the consuming nature of early motherhood, we can forget about the person who spends most of their days outside of the home. Fixated on them coming back to support and relieve us, we might not notice that they too need their own support and relief – disguised by their visible happiness at being home.
Financially we’ve had a challenging few years, after a criminal house developer left the country owing our small company $70,000+. (He’d managed the sell the property Nick was working on for him, without paying his final bill – and of course the new owners weren’t liable for it). We did everything we were able to, but ultimately it’s times like these you can only believe in karma.
Since then, Nick has single-handedly managed to keep us from bankruptcy and total ruin – as not only would we have suffered a huge financial blow, it would have also been a loss of livelihood (because he wouldn’t have been able to continue doing the business he does, of course) – and he has managed all this without any help from anyone else.
I won’t go into the nitty grittys of just how challenging it has been (and I hope Nick doesn’t me mind sharing any of this at all)… but at times when it would certainly have been easier to have chucked in the towel and admit defeat, he kept on going. And he honestly hasn’t once complained or gotten dark.
I know that he’s done this not only for his family, but because he is a man of integrity and refused to let any of his clients suffer also. I only wish I could have told them just how loyal and how hardworking this man has been for them – especially during those inevitable times of things not running to schedule, or not going to plan.
Nick loves what he does and he’s bloody good at it – but the lack of support and increasing pressure has started to wear him down. I see him fed up and losing joy in the job. But I also see him getting up before the crack of dawn every morning, working hard all day, dealing with all the fallouts and the lazy staff who make his own job even harder (thank goodness those ones have walked now, even if they did do so in a cowardly way, leaving him in the lurch – good bloody riddance), and he continues to take calls and reply to emails etc long after the kids are in bed.
But you are not alone in this…
Anyway, I digress… We’ve all got our own pressures and stresses. It’s very easy to look at someone who ‘has it all together’ – a good attitude, a calm disposition, a positive spirit… maybe even someone who is well dressed and goes on regular holidays with his family – and assume they have it easy. I just wanted to write about how important it is we pay attention to those closest to us.
And if there is ever a point that you look at others or the rest of the world around you, assuming you are the only one to struggle or have it ‘this bad,’ or that no one else could possibly understand or have experienced the depth of your own feelings because they are far too personal and unique – then you’ve become a little misguided my friend. It’s time for you to get a new perspective.
“noun. Perspective is the way that one looks at something. It is also an art technique that changes the distance or depth of an object on paper.”
It’s always time to get a new perspective.
We see you
Whilst it’s important we continue to acknowledge, honour, and support mothers and full-time caregivers – and there is certainly much work still to be done in this way – we can’t forget the providers, the workers, the ones who are also giving and sacrificing so much.
So here’s to our Nick – for everything he is to us and everything he does to provide.
On Friday afternoon Beau and I were on the trampoline and suddenly I had the idea that we should do something special for Nick. I had the urge to bake. So we decided to treat him when he got home from another long week of work (as he had already told me he’d need to sacrifice his time with the kids on Saturday to work some more)…
I made a vegan butternut tart from scratch, we set the table with candles, and gifted him some of his favourite treats. Beau even drew him a picture. And as he dropped to his knees and broke into tears, so moved by our love and appreciation of him – it served a beautiful reminder to him and me both:
we see you.